What do you mean you are sick? You look great.

What do you mean you are sick? You look great.

Jody hears this all the all-time. I hear this from people that ask me how she is doing. On the outside (besides her left leg turning different colors) she looks fine.  But inside she isn’t. It’s hard to explain & understand the pain she goes through.  There is times she is running to the bathroom nonstop throwing up, or in a fetal position trying to stop the pain.

I can’t see what’s wrong & I wish I could so I could help her feel better. There is times where I ask her if there’s anything I can do to help & I will just rub her stomach or put pressure on her stomach to help relief some of the pain.

I feel helpless at times. I don’t know what to do for her but make sure she has coffee next to her, TV on & dogs out of the room, so she can rest.

If it was a broken bone that I could see it would be easier to understand. I have been there for the surgery, the ultrasounds, & the Drs. Appointments. I see what’s going on & understand what the drs. are saying but it’s still hard to understand the full extent of her pain.

There’s times where she says all of her lower organs feel like they are playing tug a war. Or everything is on one side. Sex isn’t easy either. As a guy it’s hard sometimes & I will admit it is very hard for me to just stay away & not want to have sex with her. I see the pain it causes after wards & feel real guilty. Why did I just stick the one I love in more pain? Jody says it’s not my fault but I do feel like it is. Sometimes she won’t be in pain while we are having sex but as soon as we are done she is in a fetal position crying. There has been times were she has lied to me saying it didn’t hurt but after 7 years I know her by now & know when she is lying.

I work all day sometimes all week. So when I get home I am tired & don’t want to do anything, but I look around & know I need to help out around the house. House work has gotten to be too much for her to even do. Jody gets tired easily. I know some people are saying she is just lazy but that’s not the case at all. If you have ever met her or know her she works her butt off when she could. She does go into a depression state sometimes due to the fact she can’t do the things she used too.

I remember a couple of months ago she had a cyst burst. It had to be pretty big cause it knocked her down & the er said there was a lot of fluid in her from it but it would dissolve after a while. Really? For a good 2 weeks she was so sick & when she walked she was bent over still in pain. Why not remove the fluid instead of making someone sicker? I didn’t get that at all.

We don’t go out much at all. Jody is mostly in the house away from people due to the fact that she gets sick so easily. We were going to church but not knowing if someone will be sick when we go & her catching it, it’s safer for us to stay home. When she does catch like a cold that we might have for a week she has it for 2 -3 weeks.

I know I jumped all over but wanted to get this out there will try to add more later